we told the boys about baby coming in february. i loved their little happy faces when they figured it out.
this is the last baby we are planning. when we had only one child we thought we wanted seven! then when baby 2 arrived on the scene and it took us an hour to leave the house for a dinner out we thought, wait maybe this parenting thing isn’t as much of a breeze as we thought it was with just one. so we backed it down to five. i got so many gasps from the men i worked with when they found out i wanted 5 kids. they all had 3 or less. i wanted a big, fun family. but not too big to where i’d drown and end up being a militant mom just to keep my sanity.
so our fifth is on its way. only the size of a bean at this point, but i’ve been blessed with nothing but healthy pregnancies thus far, so i can only assume the best.
i had hoped i would have 3 boys followed by 2 girls, because i wanted the girl to have a close sister because i know how much i loved growing up with my sisters so near in age. so when i found out baby 4 was a boy i was sad. there went the sister plan. and i decided i didn’t care if our last baby was a girl because it would just be selfish of me to want a girl. and it was also when mitt romney was running for president and their family of 5 handsome, successful men was something i really admired and would love to have.
but then i read this book, Edenbrooke, and in it the girl has a twin sister and the sister overshadows her whole childhood. the sister is the pretty, successful, smart, personable one. and she’s just average (or so she sees herself). and it got me thinking, maybe it wouldn’t be horrible to not have a sister. i mean, no drama, no trying to upstage each other, no fights over the same boy, or the whole love triangle thing where your sister likes a boy but he likes you (happened a lot to us as teen sisters!) if i had a girl, she would be the star of the show.
another thought that entered my mind was could i really feel fulfilled never seeing what a girl of ours would even look like? it seems trivial, but just to see her. and then to watch a daughter grow, to relish in her beauty, dress her up, send her out on her first date, see her marry and give birth to her own babies. that’s something special i would miss out on.
so now i’m back to wanting this baby to be a girl. i’ll be happy either way. to raise that brood of 5 strapping boys sounds exciting. to have my little princess does too. so i guess its a win/win.