six figures to stay at homebackstory

so as i said in my about i’m a new stay at home mom. not a new mom, i have a whopping 4 kids (thats A LOT i’m told, by todays standards).

i’ve been the breadwinner since we got married, 7 years before this story unfolds.

palmyra templethat makes my husband sound like a total free-loader doesn’t it?…it just made sense since i got a great job offer while we were engaged. had a college degree and he didn’t have any college credits. i was a darn good provider and he was the most patient parent with our little ones.

but as gender is an eternal identity engrained within us, we each yearned to be doing what the other was doing.

about a year ago, while i was on maternity leave for my 4th baby, an opportunity presented itself through an old friend of mine for him to work in the oil industry. making college-grad type money. but of course there was a catch. he’d be gone 6 weeks at a time. home for a week or two at a time. i thought it was too much. how could we possibly survive that type of separation? how could any couple survive that? wouldn’t he go crazy with loneliness? i mean men have needs. how would i handle all 4 kids on my own ALL the time?

so i told him about it in a nonchalant, “this is crazy but…” way. without skipping a beat he said,“let’s do it.”

i still wasn’t sure about it, but he started telling everyone he’d be going to work up north in a few months. i would sort of half smile and raise my eyebrows. i was sure it wouldn’t happen, or if it did happen, that one of us would go crazy during those first 6 weeks and we’d go back to the old way.

at the drop of a hat we got word that he could come start the job. he packed up his little red car and was gone that afternoon. that was an unreal day. orion, our 4 year old, a sensitive, worrier of a soul, chased across the yard frantically yelling “come back quick, come back quick!”

so that is how the switch began. we are 9 months in now and doing remarkably well.

for the first 3 months my sister lived with me which helped ease the transition into near-single parenthood. but being the independent-type, i came to a point where i wanted to do it on my own. i have a great church family who help me out at least weekly. and family a couple hours away.

soo i couldn’t leave those years outside the home 100% behind. i do a little consulting now, so i have a few toes still in my career, and get to dress up in my power clothes every month or so and use big words and serious expressions. and i love that. its the perfect balance for me.

and can i say that i unequivocally love being a stay at home mom?! and i love my husband more than ever for giving me this. i never resent a day that he is gone {although i miss him}. i never say, or even think, a derogatory word about his absence. he’s doing it for me.

c.s. lewis knows what i’m talking about

the homemaker has the ultimate career




  1. My husband is also in the oil field and gone for 3 weeks at at time. It works great for us, but every time I tell anyone about his schedule, they look at me like I’m insane and then tell me how sorry they are for me and how hard it must be, as though they think I have a terrible life. I always want to remind them that he is HOME, not working for 3 weeks at a time which we think is fantastic, and we are just grateful he has a stable job that supports us so well! What did you do before?

    • yes! i have to reassure people all the time that i’m ok.
      and you are right, it is soo nice when he is home, it feels like a magical vacation.
      my career is technical sales & engineering.

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